No Eye Contact.

I think I should start carrying fliers to the gym and every time someone starts to talk to me, I can hand them one, smile, and go back to what I was doing.
Here's what it would say...

Hi! My name is Carrie. Thank you for you interest in what I'm doing but

1. I do not need a personal trainer. You see me here at least 4-5 days a week and I think I'm going pretty well on my own. Thank you.
2. I'm sure it's impressive, but I don't care how many reps, how much weight, how many laps, or how long you've been on that machine.
3. Kindly wipe your nasty ass sweat off that machine, I would like to use it without getting an STD.
4. Please put on some clothes.
5. Seriously...put on some clothes.
6. Could you please hang up your phone? I'm not here to listen to your conversations while you are screaming over the noise of all the other machines.
7. Just because we made eye contact, doesn't mean I want to hear your life story.
8. Truly, when you have to grunt that loudly to finish a rep, I think that means it's time to take it a bit easier... I don't want you to over strain yourself and watch you shit your pants.
9. If you are going to impede my progress by running to a machine to claim it as your own, kindly use the damn thing, you aren't the only one trying to workout here.
10. Steroids are known to do A LOT of damage to your downstairs area, I think you should lay off for a while.
11. Really? Who wears jeans to the gym?
12. Headphones. Use them.
13. (Blank for the purpose of a write in)

I would circle the best option and hand it over. I think it would make my experience at the gym a much better one.

Today a nice older gentleman would have gotten a #2 today while we were swimming. I was pausing between a lap and he looks over and nods (like one would nod whilst saying "sup") and says 'looking good over there'. I roll my eyes, thankfully my goggles are still on, and say thank you. In kindness, because I knew that's what he was fishing for, I said 'you too'. Mistake. Big mistake. He talked for like 5 minutes trying to impress me with his swim lingo ("Yeah, I'm just working on my 100yd. I.M. Oh sorry, I mean individual medley. That's when you change your stroke each length of the pool...") Bitch I know what an I.M. is! I was on the swim team when I was younger. Just cuz I'm only rocking out freestyle, doesn't mean I don't know other strokes exist!

I finally got back to swimming and ended up doing 10 laps. Again, not really impressive but my "recovery time" between laps is significantly shorter than it was before. I'm still supposed to be stopping after each length and catching my breath. Also, the swim for the TRI is equal to 18 laps so I'm getting there.

 I couldn't tell if this guy was hitting on me or if he just needed someone to tell him how awesome he was. I don't frequently get hit on so, who knows. I am curious though. Maybe my training is causing me to gain some confidence that is making me more approachable? Yesterday, an EMT at work called me gorgeous and I laughed at him and he looked genuinely confused and perhaps a little hurt (?) He told me it was a shame I didn't get greeted like that all the time. It was sweet but so completely different then what I'm used to. I'm sure he was just being nice and I should just take the compliment, but it's hard for me and I'm still trying to figure out if he was just maybe joking around for his partners benefit...like hey look at me make this secretaries day by calling her something nice, or really thought I was cute and was upset that I laughed at him.

Either way, swim guy was also disappointed with me and got out of the pool after our little chat. I wasn't trying to be mean, I just think swimming is a very individual thing and I enjoy the time to myself I get while I workout. It's a nice time to clear my head and just relax. I don't mean to be antisocial but if you see me at the gym, smile and wave and just let me do my thing. We can talk all you want in the locker room. (Provided you are fully clothed)