The Afterglow

I'm not sure if you noticed, dear reader, but my race day recap was lacking in the revelation department. I decided to give myself a few days to really let the fact that I was a triathlete sink in. Like really get all up in my brain and my soul and hope that it would shake me to the core.

As I write this I am in the library in Moraine and I promise you no one is looking to find me shaking with a religious fervor. I really thought becoming a triathlete would be a life changing thing. That I would wake up Monday morning and just feel different. Don't get me wrong, I loved every minute of the race. I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment unlike anything I've ever experienced before crossing that finish line. I guess I just hoped for that feeling to hang around for a while.

I don't know. I really loved the race. It was a lot of fun. I am definitely going to do it again. Next year, I'm going to do the regular sprint and damn it, I'm gonna run the shit out of those 3 miles. Maybe I'll even do more than one? Who knows. I know that the experience, no matter how sleep depriving and stress inducing, was a great one. But am I running out to buy a new tri bike, a complete new lycra wardrobe, and trying to convert others to the life of tri? Not exactly.

Maybe because I took the journey alone? Maybe because I expected my bike time to be so much better than it was? Maybe because I walked 98% of the 2 miles? Maybe because the thing I did best at was the thing I trained the least for? Maybe because I didn't train as much as I should have? Maybe I just had unrealistic expectations? There are so many questions that overwhelm my post race happiness and I curse my stupid over thinking brain. (Pretend I'm shaking my fist at the sky in rage.)

Perhaps I don't give myself enough credit. I know finishing was a big deal. I know I trained for 25 weeks to prepare and that's a hell of a lot more then most people can say. I know that no matter how unchanged I feel, I have actually changed. I guess I just expected to love it so much that the next day I would be planning my training for the next race and just breathing in my new tri lifestyle. While, I would like to, and certainly will, do more triathlons I guess I just won't throw myself into becoming Carrie - super triathlete. I'll just be Carrie - she who is trying to find a healthier life style who enjoys doing triathlons for fun. I would like to find someone to maybe do next year's tri with me. I know I wasn't "alone" because I had an amazingly loving support team in my friends and family, but it was just hard to see so many women in groups or pairs in the race and not feel a little lonely. It would have been nice to share the experience with someone.

I guess I have a motivation problem. I also have a lot of negativity towards myself I really need to let go of, but I guess people just don't change overnight, or even in 25 weeks. I wasn't sure if I was gonna keep blogging after the tri, I mean the next one's a whole year away and no one wants to hear me bitch about how running is hard for a whole year. So I'm thinking that I would like to keep blogging, but instead of a strictly Tri blog, it'll turn into more of a general journey to a healthier me type thing. I really like writing and even if no one reads it, it'll be nice motivation to hold myself accountable, keep me honest, and track my progress.

I didn't include my official results from the race in the last post, so here they are. My "division" was Athena. It is for women who are over 150lbs. I thought it would be less intimidating then going up against my age group. I definitely wasn't last and if you'll notice my swim rank, I swam faster then 138 other gals so that's pretty awesome. Also, comparing my bike time to Bike the Drive (even though I wasn't technically "racing") it took me 35 minutes to ride 7 miles then, and it took me 31 minutes to do 10 miles for the race so that's an improvement. My goal to not be last was first and foremost, but I also wanted to finish before the last swim wave started (check) and be under 1 hour and 30 minutes (check).

I know I haven't been exactly soaringly positive in my post race evaluation, but the feeling of finishing will stick with me forever, even when my enthusiasm might fall away. I'm really proud of myself. I also really loved doing something I never thought I could do. I hope that later in life when I meet someone new and you do that whole "tell me about you" thing I can say, "Oh, and I do a couple triathlons a year... ya know for fun." I think it's time to start figuring out who this post triathlon Carrie is. I hope she's as awesome as I picture her being. I guess we can find out together. Stay tuned folks, the best is yet to come.

Distance	Short
Clock Time	01:26:53
Overall Place	174 / 224
Division Place	13 / 16
Swim	00:14:59
Swimrank	86
Trans1	00:04:11
Bike	00:31:11
Bikerank	173
Mph	12.6
Trans2	00:02:17
Runrank	209
Run	00:34:12
Pace	00:17:06