Feelin' Thankful

**Written on Thanksgiving last week - Forgot to post**

So I totally forgot to post my results this week...

November 10th Weigh In: -1.2 lbs.
Total Weight loss: 34.8 lbs
Weight: 249.4 lbs

Finally, a loss. Thank goodness. I was beginning to think I was stuck at 250 forever! I am not officially closer to 200lbs than 300lbs. Wooooo!

So today, on this day of thanks, I want to take a few minutes to really appreciate some people who have made this year's challenges a bit easier to handle.

I am thankful for my friends and family who have supported me unconditionally this year. It's been rough and the journey to a healthier me is far from over, but I couldn't have done it without them.

I am thankful for my bestest friend, Julie. I don't think I could have made it to the triathlon without her. Her kind words of support and love made me feel like I could do anything and her thoughtfulness always made my roughest days bearable. I am so lucky to have met her all those years ago and no matter how many states, oceans, countries, or continents are between us we still have one hell of an awesome friendship. If you do not have a friend like her you are surely missing out.

I am thankful for my sister. I have no idea how people can go through life and never talk to their siblings. I have don't know what I would do with out Kait. She is my ever sarcastic and honest sounding board. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself and I am thankful for all the times I was going to make a bad food choice or skip a workout and Kait was there to push me to be better. I'm so glad and grateful she (and Danny) were there when I crossed the finish line.

I am thankful for my parents. They also made sure to be there for me when I was crossing the finish line. My toe clips for my bike (a gift from them) made a huge difference in my bike time. They also were patient with me when I would be trying some new weird eating pattern or food and adjust accordingly. They also allow me to live in their house even though a normal 25 year old should be functioning as an adult in the world...I promise I'm working on it. They have always supported me through every thing in my life, be it T Ball or Triathlon training, and they certainly don't get thanked enough.

I am thankful for Don. He also supported me while I was training. More importantly, though, he was there for all my terrible tearful breakdowns and would let me cry on his shoulder until I was done sobbing about my crappy bike time or my inability to run (Yes I did cry about it...frequently). He would wait patiently as I would (repeatedly) freak out about the triathlon and then offer unfailing support. He always had more faith in me than I had in myself...still does actually, and for that I will always be thankful.

I am thankful for the re founding of an old friendship this year. Rachael is so inspiring and it's nice to be able to commiserate with someone over weight loss woes. I know my family supports me but when I talk to Rachael she knows exactly what I'm saying because she's been there too. I hope that one day I can be as strong and successful as she is.

I am also thankful for the strong group of Rader women I call my Aunts. They are the craziest, kickassist, funniest group of ladies I know. Their support and love made my crummiest days better. I also had some of the best times relaxing and hanging around with them this summer. My only hope is that next year we'll be able to find more time to spend with each other because they really are the best.

I am also thankful for you. Yes you dear reader. I appreciate that you read my crazy babble. Just knowing that I have readers out there sometimes gets my ass out of bed for a workout. I try new things and workouts because of you. I think, 'Hmm I should do something interesting so I can have something to write about'. So thank you so much for your support!

I know there are so many other people who have supported and loved me throughout this process. I also know that there's still a lot left to go and I'm sure I'll find heaps more people to thank and appreciate for their awesomeness. So on this Thanksgiving I'm really thankful for all my friends and family and I can only hope to love and support all of them in return.

Happy Turkey Day Everyone!

Halfway to 100

Don't get excited. I didn't magically lose 16 pounds. I still have 47 days, 7 weeks, and 7 weigh ins to meet my goal for the year...not that I'm counting or anything...

This is my 50th post!

I wish I could be writing some deep wonderful words about how my life just synced up perfectly and so poetically that as I write my 50th post I am excitedly telling you that I had lost 50 pounds and the universe just made sense.

November 10th Weigh In: +/- 0lbs.
Total Weight loss: 33.6 lbs
Weight: 250.6 lbs

Not the case. This is what we call a plateau folks. Your progress flat lines even though you are still making good choices and exercising and it sucks big time.

But let's focus on some non weight related things shall we?

I put on my winter coat today. It's a nice black pea coat, with buttons on the front instead of a zipper. Well, when I got the coat I could barely button the top one. (Mostly because my chest was much bigger when I got the coat, but I couldn't button it over my stomach either) Without even thinking about it today, I put the coat as I was leaving for work and I buttoned up all four buttons and didn't even realize it until I was walking work. It hit me...holy crap I completely buttoned this coat AND I'm wearing my scrubs AND a hoodie under it! It was a good feeling.

I also recently bought a cover up/light sweater type thing and it was a size 14/16!! When you haven't seen the underside of size 20 in years it's sort of unbelievable.

Obviously, my chest is smaller and that's a mixed bag. I'm grateful to be able to sleep on my back without smothering myself, but sometimes I miss the girls.

I know this is gonna sound super crazy, but I've noticed that my thumbs look smaller. Less sausagey and more fingery. Does that make sense?

I take the stairs at work (to the 6th floor) and while I'm still a bit out of breath by the time I get to my floor, I take them everyday. It's almost become a habit. Sometimes I still hit the elevator button but usually I realize I should be taking the stairs and walk away.

One of the nurses at work mentioned that I'm going to need new scrubs soon. I'm not exactly swimming in them, but they are kind of big. It's not that I like wearing baggy scrubs, I just hate the color (poo brown) and I really don't want to by a size smaller, (hopefully) kick some ass and lose more and then have to buy another size smaller. I'd rather lose a few sizes before I spend another 60 bucks on more scrubs. I also have a hard time finding scrubs that fit me right and clothes shopping still isn't high on my list of stuff I enjoy doing.

I'm really behind on my Tivo shows. This may not seem like it has anything to do with my weight at all but being behind means I've been, A. Going to bed at a reasonable time (good for weight loss), B. Moving more (exercising instead of tv watching), and C. Doing more productive things than spending days at a time in front of the Tv.

So there you have it. I'm still the same weight but I guess I'm less wide and that's pretty cool. I should have been taking my measurements and keeping track of inches lost as well, but I never really thought about it until I put my coat on today. Perhaps I'll start doing that next week. I wish I had something exciting to write about but another non loss, missing spin this week (had to work Tuesday), and getting 4 paper cuts yesterday really doesn't make for an exciting read.

I'm going to see if I can find another spin class this week and I'm trying to do some things different this week (like getting up and eating breakfast) and hope for better results on Saturday.

Spin, or How I'm Learning to Enjoy Sweating Like a Pig

Alright folks, I know I make a lot of  bold exclamatory statements. I know I claim, very early on, that I love some new thing I'm doing or trying. I have a problem with finding something new, over doing the crap out of it, becoming frustrated because my expectations are too high, and hating said new love or just stopping it completely.

Than being said, I really LOVE spin class.

 I FREAKING LOVE SPIN CLASS!

For those of you who do not know what spin is, it's basically a group of people pedaling small stationary bikes, listening to (usually) fast paced music which serves as a tempo for pedaling, while alternating positions on the bike like sitting, standing, and bent over the handlebars. The bikes are sturdy little suckers with the only wheel, the flywheel as it's called, being about 50 some odd pounds which is controlled by a little knobber thing that is your brake as well as your tension adjuster. Though on some bikes the tension knobber and the brake are two different things. (Aren't I super good at describing sports equipment?)

You adjust tension based on the instructors calls and that makes pedaling harder or easier.  It's forty five minutes worth of hard work and insane amounts of sweat (sweat is just fat crying anyway) and I smile through every minute of it. I feel powerful and happy when I'm finished and when we are stretching out after class it the best feeling ever. I would totally recommend finding a nonthreatening spin class to try. Definitely do not, I repeat, DO NOT try an advanced class if you've never been on a spin bike. You could get really discouraged, or worse hurt yourself by not properly using the bike. A beginner class, or at least the one I'm taking, will (hopefully) have a nice instructor who will help you adjust your bike, show you all the important parts, and make you comfortable so you can have a good experience.

The first class I took was hard, but I felt great after. Completely sore, but great. Actually, I was sore for days because my bike had a very small saddle and every time I would go from standing while pedaling to sitting while pedaling, the large amount of ass I have would hit the small saddle rather painfully. Needless to say, my first spin class wasn't as great as my second.

I went to my second spin class Tuesday at Beverly Ride On (they share the studio space with Core Fitness, where I do my Pilates -Yes, I'm aware I haven't posted about Pilates yet-) and Christine is the instructor (Also my pilates instructor). It was an Intro to Spin class so obviously it's not as crazy hard as most spin classes are, but it's one hell of a workout anyway. I guess the average calories burned in one 40 minute spin session is 620, which is pretty impressive. Christine kept saying, "If you get tired just remember the number 620!".

So everyone talks about that elusive "runner's high" and I laugh at them because there is no love lost between me and running, but I swear I felt something that was pretty similar while spinning. It was hard work and I felt every bit of it in my muscles. I felt strong. I felt  powerful. I felt healthy. I felt like I had found that something special I was looking for. Remember when I said I was hoping that finishing my Tri would be something that change me to the core? That when I finished I was elated, but not really different? Well I don't know if it was the music or the endorphins or a mix of the two but I was so happy when we finished Tuesday, I honestly felt like crying, a good soul cleansing wonderful cry. I felt light and floaty and I know at this point I'm sounding crazy town, but I don't really care.

I think the fact that I am easing into spinning is helpful. I always wanted to try the spin class at the gym, but those people are so hard core and serious about it that I knew I wouldn't be comfortable trying it for the first time there. I mean, you have to get there a half hour early just to sign up for the class and I was always scared that some regular would try to kill me for taking their bike. Which now I can understand because the bike I rode Tuesday made all the difference in the world and I will be searching for it every time I go. Also, the classes are small. There were 5 of us on Tuesday and maybe like 8 people the first time I went. It really takes the pressure off and makes the experience better for me because that way Christine can really let you know if your doing stuff right and can instruct you on proper bike position and tension.

I don't think I'll ever be a runner in the sense that I want to/have to run everyday. Walking is another story. I could take a nice walk, and try to, everyday. As I trained for the Tri I definitely avoided running but I never missed a bike workout. Yeah, bike workouts were easier and they were low impact on my knees which was nice because I still have quite a bit of weight slamming down on them, but despite being easier I really enjoyed them. I loved doing Bike the Drive. I really love Spinning. Maybe I am a cyclist at heart? Who knows. I have almost a whole year to train for next year's Tri (It's Aug 11th by the way, I had the date wrong before) so I guess I'll use that time to find out my true strengths and weaknesses (a.k.a. running).

I know it's early to declare love of spin. I'm not running out to by a spin bike or anything, even though I really want to. I'm not going crazy and trying to take 5 classes a week. I am easing into it and trying to go every week but sometimes I work on Tuesdays and, for now, that's okay. I'm going to care for this little flame of passion and slowly let it build into a blaring fire that really fuels my losses. I've only taken two classes, but I promise that every Tuesday I'm off you will be able to find me at spin class at 6:30pm. Just don't peak into the window and watch us like the creeper guy on Tuesday. That would be real weird.

Am I Being Bullied?

I wasn't going to go to my meeting this morning. This post was going to be titled, "Know when to Hold 'em". I had a very large sodium ridden meal of super delicious Chi Tung last night. I do that a lot. I'm really good all week and then on Friday I go out for a huge meal and effect my weigh in negatively. So, I was not going to weigh in because when I have a bad week it takes me a few days to recover from the way the (usual) gain impacts my mood.

But, dear readers, I went to my meeting. Why? Well I'll tell you why. My sister, who is generally a great motivator, made me feel bad about not going. She was not gentle in anyway. This wasn't just a tiny bit of guilt that pushes me into making the right choice, ohhhh no, this was the worst bad mojo she could possibly push on me.

She says, "If you don't go tomorrow, I'm gonna die". What the hell?!?! Here's my reaction:

Oh Michael Clark Duncan, I miss you.

 

 

If you haven't seen Talladega Nights, you should because stupidly funny if you know any Nascar fans. Also, speaking of the late Mr. Duncan, if you haven't seen The Green Mile, stop what you are doing and go see it. Do it. Go ahead, I'll wait...

 

Wasn't it the best? Your welcome. (You should also read it, but we don't have time for that now)

 

That's not my point though. That's how I felt. DON'T PUT THAT EVIL ON ME KAIT! So I had to go to my meeting today because if I didn't and for some crazy reason Kait died, it would be my fault and I would hate myself. So my sister is a very well meaning, mental jingling bully. But damn, if I don't just love the crap out of her. I mean, I went didn't I? It's nice to have someone pushing you and I just playfully call her a bully, I mean no meanness. I appreciate that she pushes me and I'm thankful to have such a good sister who cares about me. (Perhaps maybe next time she could just be a little less morbid in her helpful pushes?) Besides, I needed to go to the meeting and it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be.

 

The results:



November 3rd Weigh In: +/- 0lbs.
Total Weight loss: 33.6 lbs
Weight: 250.6 lbs

No change. It's not a loss, but it's not a gain. So I'm okay with it. I'm not happy but I'm not sad. I am neutral. So, yay neutrality! I know I have been less than bloggy lately but I have just been lacking the creative zing to make decent posts. Also, my main focus hasn't honestly been my fitness/weight loss goals these past couple weeks. I'm starting and Governor's State in the spring and freaking out about my future plans have sort of trumped my new active lifestyle. I am making progress on my list of stuff I'd like to do/try though so expect more stories of me doing things that are totally out of my comfort zone. Yay for awkward Carrie doing new things!

Have a good week y'all, I'm going to work my ass off and lose this week, for sure. Stay tuned!

((Seriously, The Green Mile. Read it, watch it, love it))